Moonday and the tides of inevitability....
12/27/04 Moonday
The moon was full the last 3 nights, but was the Xmas Moon the fullest? Does the werewolf only come out on those 3 nights? So many things to do, see and learn about this world and then feeling the chains of the "man's" laws for indulging in harmless cannabis....
That court date will be coming up in a few weeks and I'll see the police report waiting for me and wondering about going off the stuff to show to the judge that it is only recreational... But then I would be buying into the system. I feel that if enough of us complained about our individual rights being taken away when the man does not allow us to smoke something that will do less harm than a couple of beers! There is no hangover the next day. It makes you creative and it makes you horny especially with ginger root tea!
"How can you say that. You have the audience and then you come up with that crap! It's not funny but stupid! How can you win a court case when you come up with shit like that??"
Well here's a poem or just my thoughts...
all these thoughts bombarding our brains
and often comes the depression
when you think about the inevitability of our paths..
we wish for our souls and others to still go on...
thousands of poor souls taken away by the ocean, Neptune...
tidal waves created in this ring of fire encircling the mother earth..
which creates volcanoes and earthquakes...
Will these souls go somewhere?
Will they have their paradise or heaven?....We want so badly for there to be a better place.
Our mother shows this species that it is only renting out it's small space
on the geologic upper crust of time
It's wars are insignificant compared to the inevitable force of our Goddess...
(wow, that was pretty deep...)
Now it's the next day campin' out at the Bates Porn Motel with free playboy channel.
Relaxing for my extended holiday in KC after some great chess down at the Broadway Cafe with Tyler yesterday evening. He was the bloke that helped out with our weekly chess club at the middle school of claustrophobia in KC and is the son of one the teachers from the school. That place had a such a hostile and paranoid environment with janitors told be spies by the principal. Wow, what an evil woman! She almost reminds me of a female Karl Rove. (she rolls her eyes)
We played some great chess and he is very patient and the most polite "mate" to play chess against. Francis came along later, a 17 year old whiz kid from the local high school that is the resident expert on computers, chess, literature (Reads Chaucer for AP English), and skateboards. He usually can kick my ass in chess but I take way too long to think for him and most impatient folks.(I'm not going to name any other names) There is a very eclectic mixture of all sorts that hang out there, mostly young and definitely not Repuklican
So I meet Muffy at the library, when she heard that I was heading over there. She figured that she'd make a surprise visit on me while she delivers her books that she borrowed by AL Franken and other "liberal" authors. While going for a walk, with her so happy to see me, she tells me how her younger daughter hates me because I'm so old.
"He's 40!"
"No, he's 49!"
she has to tell her the truth about my age when I've really aged only 40 years relative to the health and fitness compared folks way younger than 40!
"OOH! GROSS Mom, that's disgusting and he's a stoner too!"
"Your Dad is 43 and Mike, he's the one guy you liked, smoked weed too!"
Muffy told me that she was shocked that her image of her ideal man that her Mom should date was shattered.
Up to that point we were walking hand in hand and decided to turn
around in a walk through the library's neighborhood, things were copasetic and us holding hands.
"He is nice to me and I enjoy him being around instead of your angry mood. You yell at me and he does nice things for me to make me feel better about myself".
I asked her how she found about the weed being with the photographs.
I should have realized this would open up why Muff hates me, because I lose so many things that I'm a loser!
Her daughter had manipulated the conversation until her mother admitted that weed was with the Walgreen's envelope. I had seen how she was trying to ask what else was missing with the envelopes?? I knew that I should never have even mentioned it except that Muff was wanting some stuff...." A whole can of worms" opened up
"Why do you bring that into my house?" she yells at me!
"umm, so we both can smoke it!"
"oh, you are such a wuss. You wont admit that you lose things like everything else. It's all your fault! You are so pathetic!"
"You just want to think that your girl is perfect when you told me how she was hiding paraphanelia and you found it in her closet. She just wanted to catch you out telling a lie"
By this time Muffy had thrown away my hand that was holding hers in disgust at her "wussy" boyfriend and she was accelerating off into the distance of what originally was going to be a nice walk.
Oh well, we could have been swept away by the tidal waves...:(
Now it's midnight on the 30th on what I thought has been overall a good day with the Muffster happy and nice to me...I wonder how I can finish the sweet day without the silliest of arguments...I was just offering Kava Kava to Muff and she knocked it out of my hand over...what else, the bane of relationships, the REMOTE...I know how it sounds so silly but it evolved into "no matter what you say we are gonna fight and there is no way that you can until you admit being a male narcoleptic pig"...
I don't need to get into power struggles with my lover...That has happened in the past and I see these inevitable tidal waves coming...All you can do is run quickly to high ground. You are gonna lose all your material posessions. All you can hope for is survival let alone a comfortable place to sleep at night. You have seen women go into their animalistic rages and realize there is no going back to stem the "Sunami", death and destruction will be in her wake
you start falling asleep to CNN or whatever cable channel she had flipped it to...
you are in and out of alpha states on the couch
when she throws the remote onto your slumbering chest and you momentarily wake up...
she challenges you to find something that will capture her attention so that she will not have to snatch it from your chest when you nod off for a narcoleptic second...She is the fastest and strongest feline that you have dated and know that you will be under attack when you nod off again...
she will always win the remote from you in her cave...You have lowered yourself on her pecking order by choosing unemployment and camping out for the holidays in her cave hoping to keep her happy with groceries, meals, gas, jokes, presents, good whoopee and sometimes good jokes...How dare you contest the remote in the alpha leopard's cave!
You have gone beyond her 17 second attention boundary and have not flipped the channel fast enough...She has the quickness of the "Catwoman" and you try to wrestle with her for the remote,
The Borg woman tells you,
"Resistance is futile. You will be punished for resisting!"
...She gets up and throws the projectile right next to right shoulder
"I wished that I hit you telling me that I am controlling! How dare you. This is my cave!"
"You are welcome to my cave!" I reply meekly.
you dare not have the last word with a woman when she is rotating her head and in a primal rage...
"You are banned from watching my TV for the rest of the evening!" You can read a book like me."
You go upstairs after hunting outside for the magical Kava Kava and then finally find it forgetting that you had put it with the rest of the pills in her kitchen cabinet. You hope and pray that this will be a good peace offering as you walk up the stairs with trepidation. The worst that could happen does when she hits you and throws the magical pill on the floor. You dare not have the last word or she will throw you out of her cave again...
and be swept away by the tidal waves of love and hate; they are woven so closely together in the female feline.
The only place where you can calm down and talk, is to your audience in cyber space..
you hope that she will not drown you again tonight...she is always sweet to him in the am or not at least not a raging torrent
12/28/05
A year has passed and what to show for it but another angry gf...
Here is a letter that somehow I hope you find and listen;
I'm sorry that I can't get you out of my mind. I was happier than I can ever remember being when I was with you. The inevitability of time didn't scare me when I was with you.
I wondered as a young agnostic about your new found religion that you enlightened me about...
Each of the only two times, I saw you in the past very depressing 4 years, you refused to talk to me or even aknowledge me.
The second time, I was afraid to look into your eyes, the windows of your soul.
I was afraid to look into the world that you shut out from me.
I have no knowledge of your past since we departed only that I think you've had two more souls enter the world.
I hope that your tremendous sadness I sensed did not also burden your children.
I felt that it was my fault that I said no to all of it.
I wish that I could go back in time and try to let it happen this time.
I wished that they were in a beautiful place that we all could call home.
I wished that I had met you now
I'm a little wiser and less naive of the finity of time.
So little time to do the things that we would have had so much fun doing together.
Now you say you are married
He must be a very generous man and thoughtful man to bring up children from 4 other men..
"
will you have your fifth child with him
I wonder if we had a love child together
I do the math and think maybe?? oh well
These new souls were tasting sustenance from your beautiful glands just as I imagined you would be doing.
I wanted to be with you for these wonderful moments as a new soul finds himself in a new mortal shell...
when I saw you with the angry sign outside the door,
trapped inside your cave
too afraid to come out and let the sun shine on your beautiful petals.
I hope your children will grow up not fearing the world as you do
and to come out into the sunshine and enjoy the waves of life
taking the chance to come out and blossom as I hope eventually you will
I saw you as a wonderful flower that would blossom into wonderful colors.
then I saw you as a beautiful flower wilting without the sunshine that would help you become the wonderful flower that I once saw in you
not a prickly bush with the colourful petal long gone and only harsh thorns left
"message from 'm'....stop sending me letters and postcards. do not ever visit me again. i am married and i do not want any kind of contact with you ever again. i have made the police aware of your stalking and they now have a record of all of your correspondence with me, including this website. i do not want you. i do not want anything to do with you ever again. i am not sad, i am happy and i have a wonderful life. leave me alone."
Sometime, I'm amazed how prophetic the letter to her was. I wrote about 3 postcards and one long letter...is that a crime? I saw her only twice , once at her home and the other time when she was bartending a long time ago...now she is finally happily married (?)...
all I want is a chance to chat?...oh well and ask her if she had a love child 9 months after we broke up??
"She is a generous loving spirit and her home and her heart is always open to her friends and family. With four children, it's a wonder that she gets anything done, and yet her work has been displayed in numerous galleries"
How can she say that her home and heart are always open to her family when she shuts out the fathers of her children?
The moon was full the last 3 nights, but was the Xmas Moon the fullest? Does the werewolf only come out on those 3 nights? So many things to do, see and learn about this world and then feeling the chains of the "man's" laws for indulging in harmless cannabis....
That court date will be coming up in a few weeks and I'll see the police report waiting for me and wondering about going off the stuff to show to the judge that it is only recreational... But then I would be buying into the system. I feel that if enough of us complained about our individual rights being taken away when the man does not allow us to smoke something that will do less harm than a couple of beers! There is no hangover the next day. It makes you creative and it makes you horny especially with ginger root tea!
"How can you say that. You have the audience and then you come up with that crap! It's not funny but stupid! How can you win a court case when you come up with shit like that??"
Well here's a poem or just my thoughts...
all these thoughts bombarding our brains
and often comes the depression
when you think about the inevitability of our paths..
we wish for our souls and others to still go on...
thousands of poor souls taken away by the ocean, Neptune...
tidal waves created in this ring of fire encircling the mother earth..
which creates volcanoes and earthquakes...
Will these souls go somewhere?
Will they have their paradise or heaven?....We want so badly for there to be a better place.
Our mother shows this species that it is only renting out it's small space
on the geologic upper crust of time
It's wars are insignificant compared to the inevitable force of our Goddess...
(wow, that was pretty deep...)
Now it's the next day campin' out at the Bates Porn Motel with free playboy channel.
Relaxing for my extended holiday in KC after some great chess down at the Broadway Cafe with Tyler yesterday evening. He was the bloke that helped out with our weekly chess club at the middle school of claustrophobia in KC and is the son of one the teachers from the school. That place had a such a hostile and paranoid environment with janitors told be spies by the principal. Wow, what an evil woman! She almost reminds me of a female Karl Rove. (she rolls her eyes)
We played some great chess and he is very patient and the most polite "mate" to play chess against. Francis came along later, a 17 year old whiz kid from the local high school that is the resident expert on computers, chess, literature (Reads Chaucer for AP English), and skateboards. He usually can kick my ass in chess but I take way too long to think for him and most impatient folks.(I'm not going to name any other names) There is a very eclectic mixture of all sorts that hang out there, mostly young and definitely not Repuklican
So I meet Muffy at the library, when she heard that I was heading over there. She figured that she'd make a surprise visit on me while she delivers her books that she borrowed by AL Franken and other "liberal" authors. While going for a walk, with her so happy to see me, she tells me how her younger daughter hates me because I'm so old.
"He's 40!"
"No, he's 49!"
she has to tell her the truth about my age when I've really aged only 40 years relative to the health and fitness compared folks way younger than 40!
"OOH! GROSS Mom, that's disgusting and he's a stoner too!"
"Your Dad is 43 and Mike, he's the one guy you liked, smoked weed too!"
Muffy told me that she was shocked that her image of her ideal man that her Mom should date was shattered.
Up to that point we were walking hand in hand and decided to turn
around in a walk through the library's neighborhood, things were copasetic and us holding hands.
"He is nice to me and I enjoy him being around instead of your angry mood. You yell at me and he does nice things for me to make me feel better about myself".
I asked her how she found about the weed being with the photographs.
I should have realized this would open up why Muff hates me, because I lose so many things that I'm a loser!
Her daughter had manipulated the conversation until her mother admitted that weed was with the Walgreen's envelope. I had seen how she was trying to ask what else was missing with the envelopes?? I knew that I should never have even mentioned it except that Muff was wanting some stuff...." A whole can of worms" opened up
"Why do you bring that into my house?" she yells at me!
"umm, so we both can smoke it!"
"oh, you are such a wuss. You wont admit that you lose things like everything else. It's all your fault! You are so pathetic!"
"You just want to think that your girl is perfect when you told me how she was hiding paraphanelia and you found it in her closet. She just wanted to catch you out telling a lie"
By this time Muffy had thrown away my hand that was holding hers in disgust at her "wussy" boyfriend and she was accelerating off into the distance of what originally was going to be a nice walk.
Oh well, we could have been swept away by the tidal waves...:(
Now it's midnight on the 30th on what I thought has been overall a good day with the Muffster happy and nice to me...I wonder how I can finish the sweet day without the silliest of arguments...I was just offering Kava Kava to Muff and she knocked it out of my hand over...what else, the bane of relationships, the REMOTE...I know how it sounds so silly but it evolved into "no matter what you say we are gonna fight and there is no way that you can until you admit being a male narcoleptic pig"...
I don't need to get into power struggles with my lover...That has happened in the past and I see these inevitable tidal waves coming...All you can do is run quickly to high ground. You are gonna lose all your material posessions. All you can hope for is survival let alone a comfortable place to sleep at night. You have seen women go into their animalistic rages and realize there is no going back to stem the "Sunami", death and destruction will be in her wake
you start falling asleep to CNN or whatever cable channel she had flipped it to...
you are in and out of alpha states on the couch
when she throws the remote onto your slumbering chest and you momentarily wake up...
she challenges you to find something that will capture her attention so that she will not have to snatch it from your chest when you nod off for a narcoleptic second...She is the fastest and strongest feline that you have dated and know that you will be under attack when you nod off again...
she will always win the remote from you in her cave...You have lowered yourself on her pecking order by choosing unemployment and camping out for the holidays in her cave hoping to keep her happy with groceries, meals, gas, jokes, presents, good whoopee and sometimes good jokes...How dare you contest the remote in the alpha leopard's cave!
You have gone beyond her 17 second attention boundary and have not flipped the channel fast enough...She has the quickness of the "Catwoman" and you try to wrestle with her for the remote,
The Borg woman tells you,
"Resistance is futile. You will be punished for resisting!"
...She gets up and throws the projectile right next to right shoulder
"I wished that I hit you telling me that I am controlling! How dare you. This is my cave!"
"You are welcome to my cave!" I reply meekly.
you dare not have the last word with a woman when she is rotating her head and in a primal rage...
"You are banned from watching my TV for the rest of the evening!" You can read a book like me."
You go upstairs after hunting outside for the magical Kava Kava and then finally find it forgetting that you had put it with the rest of the pills in her kitchen cabinet. You hope and pray that this will be a good peace offering as you walk up the stairs with trepidation. The worst that could happen does when she hits you and throws the magical pill on the floor. You dare not have the last word or she will throw you out of her cave again...
and be swept away by the tidal waves of love and hate; they are woven so closely together in the female feline.
The only place where you can calm down and talk, is to your audience in cyber space..
you hope that she will not drown you again tonight...she is always sweet to him in the am or not at least not a raging torrent
12/28/05
A year has passed and what to show for it but another angry gf...
Here is a letter that somehow I hope you find and listen;
I'm sorry that I can't get you out of my mind. I was happier than I can ever remember being when I was with you. The inevitability of time didn't scare me when I was with you.
I wondered as a young agnostic about your new found religion that you enlightened me about...
Each of the only two times, I saw you in the past very depressing 4 years, you refused to talk to me or even aknowledge me.
The second time, I was afraid to look into your eyes, the windows of your soul.
I was afraid to look into the world that you shut out from me.
I have no knowledge of your past since we departed only that I think you've had two more souls enter the world.
I hope that your tremendous sadness I sensed did not also burden your children.
I felt that it was my fault that I said no to all of it.
I wish that I could go back in time and try to let it happen this time.
I wished that they were in a beautiful place that we all could call home.
I wished that I had met you now
I'm a little wiser and less naive of the finity of time.
So little time to do the things that we would have had so much fun doing together.
Now you say you are married
He must be a very generous man and thoughtful man to bring up children from 4 other men..
"
will you have your fifth child with him
I wonder if we had a love child together
I do the math and think maybe?? oh well
These new souls were tasting sustenance from your beautiful glands just as I imagined you would be doing.
I wanted to be with you for these wonderful moments as a new soul finds himself in a new mortal shell...
when I saw you with the angry sign outside the door,
trapped inside your cave
too afraid to come out and let the sun shine on your beautiful petals.
I hope your children will grow up not fearing the world as you do
and to come out into the sunshine and enjoy the waves of life
taking the chance to come out and blossom as I hope eventually you will
I saw you as a wonderful flower that would blossom into wonderful colors.
then I saw you as a beautiful flower wilting without the sunshine that would help you become the wonderful flower that I once saw in you
not a prickly bush with the colourful petal long gone and only harsh thorns left
"message from 'm'....stop sending me letters and postcards. do not ever visit me again. i am married and i do not want any kind of contact with you ever again. i have made the police aware of your stalking and they now have a record of all of your correspondence with me, including this website. i do not want you. i do not want anything to do with you ever again. i am not sad, i am happy and i have a wonderful life. leave me alone."
Sometime, I'm amazed how prophetic the letter to her was. I wrote about 3 postcards and one long letter...is that a crime? I saw her only twice , once at her home and the other time when she was bartending a long time ago...now she is finally happily married (?)...
all I want is a chance to chat?...oh well and ask her if she had a love child 9 months after we broke up??
"She is a generous loving spirit and her home and her heart is always open to her friends and family. With four children, it's a wonder that she gets anything done, and yet her work has been displayed in numerous galleries"
How can she say that her home and heart are always open to her family when she shuts out the fathers of her children?
posted by Garvald at 12/28/2004 06:22:00 AM
1 Comments:
Happy Birthday, Pagan Girl!
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home